Денис Баволяк

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• VK ссылка:id626999738
• О себе:I'm eighteen years old teenager who is trying to get goals in his life. Like get money. Do some psychology stuff and everything about it. My key here - is to feel fine and not be poor. Even if it takes a lot of damage to your body. Life is hard. But it's getting harder when you are stopping trying. Attempt - is everything I have in this world and so on. Only of that tight now I have possibility to do some sort of an mindfulness. And while I have some energy power, or at list some feelings about this life - I want to use it to get my personal money. So I would be able to rent my own apartment's where I would have some freedom about food I bought and stuff I pay for. Like bills and Internet payments, phone payments etc. The key here is that times I'm feeling lost. Times I'm trying to stop control anything(even practices like mindfulness) and just play some game. But then I want play music. But then I try to make some music. But then... unfortunately some thoughts are not stopping coming to head and those thoughts are getting bigger and bigger and then my head broke's up. I'm having headache and stuff like this. Feeling lost. Some sort of deep emotions. And meanwhile when I did it it end up of thoughts about suicide. Like downloading Tor browser and etc. Happily it all were stopping at only downloading. And I'm so proud for my self. Even when I were broken. Even when I thought there is no choice out there or maybe there is no way out of this life I hate. Of this body that feels dead. Of this character that being not successful. It all gave me some sort of pain. But times to times, when I drop it all away, honestly, I feel so overpowered about music. My thoughts getting next character: "Holy fuck, I have only one life. So why the fuck am I living with my mom, having no girlfriend, doing stuff I don't really like and all about it." Yes, for some periods of time it works. But then, when something is going on wrong, or maybe some thoughts coming on that way that I don't want to think about, it all getting broken. And like I feel depressed. Alone. I feel that I did everything wrong in my life. But you may say "bro, it's fine, we all feel like this". And you would be right. We do. But stuff here is next point. Every morning when I wake up with thought "Today I would be free, I would stop totally control anything in my body, in my head. I would let everything happening in my body, in my head, in life". And I'm waking up and feeling nothing. I feel literally nothing. Maybe I need more amount of sleep. But even when I sleep for 10 or more hours it feels so useless. In that lifestyle like "do what you enjoy, life your life" by time I found myself lost. Useless and not helpful to this world as I think "I should be". I found it hard to don't judge myself so I would be able to find some positive stuff in my life and concentrate on it. But then I'm seeing all this posts about people that being about 16-18 y.o. and being successful and happy of their selves. It all gives me some sort of anxiety and depression because I realize that I'm literally nothing. I don't do stuff I enjoy or even if I do I don't
• Ник:clearmin_d
• День рождения:4.6.2002 (22 года)
• Сейчас живёт в:Украина, Черкассы
• Родной город:Cherkassy
• Личный сайт:https://vk.com/clearmin_d
• Политические взгляды:умеренные
• Источник вдохновения:me. and power that I have
• Главное в людях:доброта и честность
• Главное в жизни:саморазвитие
• Отношение к курению:резко негативное
• Отношение к алкоголю:резко негативное