Myth basters, Brainiacs

There is an art, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. Pick a nice day and try it. The first part is easy. All it requires is simply the ability to throw yourself forward with all your weight, and the willingness not to mind that it´s going to hurt. That is, it´s going to hurt if you fail to miss the ground. Most people fail to miss the ground, and if they are really trying properly, the likelihood is that they will fail to miss it fairly hard. Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties. One problem is that you have to miss the ground accidentally. It´s no good deliberately intending to miss the ground because you won´t. You have to have your attention suddenly distracted by something else when you´re halfway there, so that you are no longer thinking about falling, or about the ground, or about how much it´s going to hurt if you fail to miss it. It is notoriously difficult to prise your attention away from this three things during the split second you have at your disposal. Hence most people´s failure, and their eventual disillusionment with this exhilarating and spectacular sport. If, however, you are lucky enough to have your attention momentarily distracted at the crucial moment by, say, a gorgeous pair of legs (tentacles, pseudopodia, according to phylum and/or personal inclination) or a bomb going off in your vicinity, or by suddenly spotting an extremely rare species of beetle crawling along a nearby twig, then in your astonishment you will miss the ground completely and remain bobbing just a few inches above it in what might seem to be a slightly foolish manner....
You will also learn about how to land properly, which is something you will almost certainly cock up, and cock up badly, on your first attempt....

У меня хватило ума прожить жизнь глупо.
источник: Ф. Раневская

"EAT MY SHORTS!!"
источник: Bart Simpson

"KISS MY SHINY ASS!"
источник: Bender